Kansas City Chief loose end Travis Kelce wrapped up his 2024 NFL season fat and more famous than nearly every other player in the league. But if this hairy hulk isn’t careful, he’ll close out his professional career washed-up and little more than his lady love’s lyrical roadkill.
Sure, last year, the world couldn’t get enough of the telegenic Traylors. We were captivated by Instagram-era optics of Taylor Swift and Travis’s private jet setting, smooch stealing and made-for-streaming, all-American romance.
Who can forget that Super Bowl 58 on-field kiss? The sweaty sports hero and the beaming pop princess. Dreams do come true!
But like the typical Netflix flop, they couldn’t sustain the steamy plot past season one. For while the NFL put a ring on Kelce, Ms Swift left the stadium bling-less.
Then the duo skidded to a truly embarrassing halt after Super Bowl 59, when the Philadelphia Eagles blew out the Chiefs like an extra serving of game day nachos.
Travis had four catches for 40 yards and zero touchdowns. There was no surprise engagement under a shower of red and yellow confetti. And, after knocking down talk of an imminent NFL retirement, Swelce just vanished.
They haven’t been seen in public together since February and now back-stabbing ‘insiders’ are telling us why.
We were captivated by Instagram-era optics of Taylor Swift and Travis’s private jet setting, smooch stealing and made-for-streaming, all-American romance.
Travis had four catches for 40 yards and zero touchdowns. There was no surprise engagement on the 50-yard line under a shower of red and yellow confetti. And, after knocking down talk of an imminent NFL retirement, Swelce just vanished.
Travis ‘wants to have a good [2026] season and not have the focus be on his relationship with Taylor,’ a source recently told Us Weekly.
‘Travis wants to take [a breather] from the public eye,’ they added. ‘He was working too much last year, and he didn’t play as well as he wanted.’
Well, in the words of one raging online Swiftie: No s*** Sherlock!
Over the last year and a half, Travis has played nearly everything but football, from starring in Pfizer ads to some FX show called ‘Grotesquerie’ to cameos at his sugar momma’s overseas concerts.
And Number 87 is not the first jock to gag on the sweet nectar of the celebrity siren. He’s just not bright enough to know it.
Remember when Jessica Simpson whisked Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo off to Cabo right before his humiliating playoff loss to the Giants in 2018? Fans quickly turned on the sultry seductress and Romo punted on the romance.
NBA star James Harden had to similarly shiv a clingy Kardashian when his high-profile humpery with Khloe started to deflate the baller.
Harden said at the time of their doomed 2015 tryst, ‘I didn’t like all the attention… It was unnecessary stuff that I think trickled down to my teammates. I had to eliminate that.’
But it’s way too easy for Travis to blame his clumsy temptress for his yips. He threw himself into her fame machine and got caught up in her gears, so please spare me the injury report.
No one made him wear that goofy Gucci bucket hat or chug beers in public like a frat boy struggling through his sixth year at state college.
Travis publicly pursued Taylor (allegedly with help from his friend Jason Sudeikis) and bragged about it for attention on the podcast he hosts his slovenly sasquatch of a brother Jason (who has also slingshotted to celebrity off Swift’s star).
These clout-cashing, pudge-buckets are truly the dogs that caught the tour bus.
Who can forget that Super Bowl 58 on-field kiss? The sweaty sports hero and the beaming pop princess. Dreams do come true!
Now Travis is whining about all the attention? I’m throwing a flag for unmanly conduct.
And there’s one thing he should know about Swift: she likes to be in control. Just ask Blake Lively, if you can find her (hint: she’s under the bus).
Trav-esty’s moaning won’t fill stadium seats in the same way that Taylor’s trivial tribulations put teenage butts in the rows. We all know who the real star is in this relationship.
If Swift is the Jeff Bezos of the entertainment industry. Then Travis is Lauren Sanchez. He better learn his place and show up at training camp with lips that size of sofa cushions, or he’s really in trouble.