A woman disinvited her brother-in-law from a family holiday after he started antagonising and ‘needling’ her autistic daughter in the absence of her husband.
The mother-of-three, believed to be from the US, explained that her brother-in-law Hector, 33, is ‘super childish’ and constantly ‘trying to rile people’ – including her 14-year-old daughter by making fun of ‘her special interest’ Taylor Swift.
Writing on Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**hole’ page, she said: ‘A few weeks ago, he started needling at Lisa by making fun of Taylor Swift using lots of childish name [sic] calling words, intentionally using the wrong word for fans and stuff.’
She clarified that her daughter Lisa understands that ‘not everyone’ is a Swiftie, but felt that Hector was deliberately pushing her buttons to get a reaction from the young girl.
The woman also told the Reddit community how her son Rob, 16, defended Lisa and told Hector he was ‘going out of your way to upset’ his sister.
In response, Hector – who was recently laid off from his job – referred to Rob as ‘Roberta’ and suggested the woman was ‘raising soft kids who can’t take a joke’.
The conversation quickly spiralled after the woman informed Hector that he couldn’t join the family on their trip to Colorado in the summer unless he started behaving himself.
She also told him that ‘he wouldn’t be acting like this’ if his brother was at home.
(Stock image) A woman disinvited her brother-in-law from a family holiday after he started antagonising and ‘needling’ her autistic daughter in the absence of her husband
(Stock image) The mother-of-three, believed to be from the US, explained that her brother-in-law Hector, 33, is ‘super childish’ and constantly ‘trying to rile people’ – including her 14-year-old daughter by making fun of ‘her special interest’ Taylor Swift
Hector spun out of control and told the woman she was being a ‘controlling yak over Taylor Swift’ and stormed out of her house with ‘his Costco chicken’ – before complaining to his mother.
She explained that her mother-in-law called to ‘ask what really happened and sighed a lot’ before urging the woman to make peace with Hector ‘because that trip was all he had to look forward to’ after being made redundant.
‘I HATE causing drama in the family so am I the asshole and I’m out of line?’ she asked the community for its opinion on how she handled the situation.
Reddit’s verdict was unanimous, as multiple users praised for standing up to her Hector and banning him from their family holiday.
‘[Not the a**hole]! You protected your kids,’ one person wrote. ‘Your son seems beyond his years and brave to stand up to a family member like that.
‘This is a perfectly reasonable natural consequence for the uncle to face,’ they continued, before adding that the woman’s mother-in-law sounds like a ‘huge enabler’ of her son’s bad behaviour.
They also advised ensuring her husband is ‘on board’ with her decision.
‘Perhaps with your husband present you can have an adult conversation with your brother-in-law about the role of jokes with your kids…’
Another comment read: ‘Three kids on a trip is enough. You don’t need a fourth.
‘This “it’s just a joke” nonsense is just an excuse for garbage people to be garbage, and continue avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
‘Please be assured that not tolerating p*** poor behaviour from a grown man isn’t you starting drama.’
A third user admitted the woman was ‘much more civil than’ they would be, adding: ‘I most likely would have thrown him out of my house.’
They said that Hector, 33, needed to be reprimanded for bullying a 14-year-old autistic girl and that he should sincerely apologise to ‘your children, you, and his brother for disrespecting his family’ as well as ‘his mother for bringing her into this’.
Another person said Hector sounded like a ‘horrible uncle’ while a fifth user’s comment read: ‘Babyman needs to have consequences for his childish actions.’
One user noted that Hector is a ‘100 per cent jerk’ who ‘picked on the one he perceived to be the weakest’ while trying to gaslight the woman’s daughter by picking ‘plausibly deniable ways to bully her’.
‘See how he picked on the one he percieved as the weakest, and how he chose plausibly deniable ways to bully her, so that he could try to get her to have a melt-down while being able to claim that she misunderstood him or he made an “honest mistake?”‘ they explained.
Reddit ‘s verdict was unanimous, as multiple users praised for standing up to her Hector and banning him from their family holiday
Several people applauded the woman’s 16-year-old son for defending his sister, with one Reddit user noting he is ‘more mature than his grown-up uncle’.
‘Your son is a CHAMP,’ another comment read. ‘You should be so proud that you have raised a caring young man who is willing to speak up when he sees someone being a bully.’
A third told the woman to take her son ‘out for ice cream’ while another Redditor said her son Rob is ‘already twice the man his uncle is’.
After the post received nearly 2,000 comments, the woman edited her original post to thank the community’s members for their feedback, adding: ‘I have a path forward.’
In response to some comments, she also clarified that Hector hadn’t been laid off due to his ‘bad personality’ but rather because the company he was working for was ‘struggling with money’ and had been forced to lay off most of their employees.